My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
