Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
