Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think your dad took our porno
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
