So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
