i don't like sucking hair
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
