Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
