with your own penis?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize