They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
