To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
