You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
