Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize