Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize