I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
