U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
