you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize