She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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