I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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