can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
