We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
