is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
