Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He better not be in your backpack
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
