you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
