It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
