Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
