sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
