Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
