Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
