We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
