No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
