My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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