well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
