I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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