But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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