it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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