Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Shame is for Republicans.
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