I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
