What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
