Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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