she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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