Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
