i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
