i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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