The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
