Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
