ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
