I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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