I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
