Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Found the puke drawer
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
