saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
