After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
