community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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