I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
