Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
