Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Drunk is not a location!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
