Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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