I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
