And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
