Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
