I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
