Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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