Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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