my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
