You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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