I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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