I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
