I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
