That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
